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September 28th, 2007

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01:59 pm - Gloomy
I seriously feel like my life has become a warped black hole.

I haven't put the effort into a lengthy post in some time, seriously month even. My journal's become more of an outlet to let me post comments on Oh No They Didn't. Since my last major post, I had my 22nd birthday, went to FX 2007, plodded through my last semester with some of my best friends, did 70+ pages of senior research on diversity issues and comic book fans, spent two nights on campus in the computer lab without sleep, graduated from college with a non-fitting mortarboard, and have subsequently faded into nothingness. Well, actually, I did go to Disney, which was a lot of fun.

I am frozen and confused about what to do next. I'm also kind of sad because I miss people. Katie and John are doing grad school stuff in Gainesville and they want me to go their too. Sarah is having similarly frustrated post-grad experiences to me, but with less reason. Harrison finally escaped Stetson and resumed the life in CT that he actually wants instead of whatever he got down here. Luckily, Crystal is doing her grad work here still, so I can hang out with her and there a few other folks still around to do stuff with, while I wallow in my own indecision.

Honestly, it's not even indecision. I know what I want to do, I'm just anxious about making a huge definitive next step. Going to college was a positive but not major change in the way I lived. Stetson is in my hometown. I stayed at home. Which makes moving a much bigger concept than it should be. My universe is a tiny space in my home and relocating with no previous independent history is... necessary and a wonderful idea but makes me nervous. Ultimately, I want to do things a bit at a time. I don't really want to go to Gainesville for the long term. I do want to go there and get back in the groove of higher education and adjust to distance from home, but my goal is the pop culture masters at Bowling Green in Ohio. Ohio. Ohio is practically a world apart from Florida. But approaching popular culture as a point of academic study. It's so my thing. It's how I made it through American Studies. Hell, it's even how I made it through sociology and WGS.  After getting the masters, I'm hoping for more school - maybe more AS stuff or maybe English? Something that will allow me to do higher education as a career with teaching and such. If not that, then something I can use to write about stuff. Hopefully I'll have more of an attention span by then.

Oh well, life isn't entirely gloomy. I bought "Knocked Up" on DVD yesterday and plan on watching it with Crystal sometime soon. New TV has brought me some definite enjoyment. My favorite new shows so far are "Chuck" and "Private Practice" with "Dirty Sexy Money" following. So far, "Ugly Betty" has impressed me most with the season debut, but I liked "Grey's Anatomy" and "Heroes" too. "Gossip Girl" was total trash when I saw it last week, and it was great. I sometimes feel like I thrive on trash just as much as treasure.

Oh well, I needed to post. Needed to vent and call out the tiny violin player. So, here goes a new post. Maybe more new posts will follow, fingers crossed.
Current Location: home...
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Rough Trade - High School Confidential

(6 comments | Leave a comment)


Date:September 28th, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
I think I saw you on campus the other day. Are you still taking courses? For some reason I thought you'd graduated.

I feel the same sense of getting nothing done and just kind of...floating.

Ohio rocks. Go there :o)

Oh, and my journal too has become a simply handle used to post on ONTD. Nice.
[User Picture]
Date:October 1st, 2007 09:30 pm (UTC)
I've definitely graduated, haha. I've only been on campus once since the spring, so it was probably a look-a-like. I look like a lot of people (or a lot of people look like me, lol).

I kind of wish mine was more then a ONTD handle, but I don't honestly have much to talk about that doesn't repeat this exercise in self pity, haha.

How's senior research coming along? ;)
Date:October 1st, 2007 09:37 pm (UTC)
I turned in my first 5 pages today. Go me! lol
[User Picture]
Date:September 29th, 2007 06:01 am (UTC)
moving away from home is a huge step, but ultimately you'll enjoy it. as a matter of fact i enjoyed it so much i didn't want to come back home. it's a hard and lonely thing to get used to, but once you do you won't want it any other way. :) i'm actually ready to leave again. :) i'm applying for a school in california! i guess it would pretty much freak me out if i got in, but if you make friends you can live almost anywhere.

and ugly betty was awesome! grey's was a little weird for me seeing them all promoted and stuff. i can kinda empathize with george right now with that whole "i'm doing the same thing i did a year ago" thing. O_o and i'm going to have to catch private practice on the abc website b/c i totally forgot a/b it. lol

at any rate, it was good to finally hear from you in lj form! keep up the good work! ;) and take good care of the tiny violin player. you put him to work often. lmbo
[User Picture]
Date:October 1st, 2007 09:32 pm (UTC)
I want to escape, but world outside is just as scary and the world inside, lol.

"Private Practice" was a lot of fun - way better than the pilot they should as part of "Grey's". I totally loved Claire's prison friend, with the nun outfit and the hiding out in the Hampton's, lol.
[User Picture]
Date:October 1st, 2007 10:12 pm (UTC)
yeah the prison friend was hilarious. claire was talking about having a party and she was checking her social calendar. lol this is going to be a good season. it was really sad about hilda tho.

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