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January 4th, 2008

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12:25 am - Looking Back...
Well, it's January 4! Happy New Year everybody. I was hoping to sit down and consider my 2007 before it was actually over, but maybe it's even better now since the whole year is entirely behind me. 2007 was a bizarre year for me. My final semester of college and then this big vacancy of living that brings me to now. There's so much that's happened for my friends and for me, it's been something of a blank slate. People have gotten engaged, people are getting divorced, people are getting jobs, people are doing grad school.

At the moment, I honestly only care about grad school, but I still have this anxious worry over it that leaves me uneasy and mentally fatigued. I don't feel like an independent human being in some respects - I went to school in my hometown and lived at home, when people usually get the fuck out when they go to college. I mean, it's better than some situations I can think of for people I went to high school with - kids, shotgun marriages, Wal-Mart jobs, nutso Christian universities - but I feel completely detached from reality. There's the DeLand reality and the post-college reality, and they don't exactly mesh. I'm torn and unsure, and my living and job situation leave me in this holding position. My mom is entirely too passive aggressive to be helpful and my dad will listen, but that's about it.

I have to say, some of 2007 was amazing. My last year at Stetson was probably my most rewarding as far as enjoying my classes and spending time with my friends. During my last semester I went with Katie, Josh and Christina to see Jon give a philosophy presentation in Orlando, which was more fun than it probably sounds. I hung out on campus writing papers constantly, but with people around that I'll never forget and will probably always consider friends. Hearing stories about crazy campus bullshit, hanging out at the apartments, grabbing sushi at Wasabi, having dinner bought by a drunk friend's dad. Good times. I managed to write about disco music and comic books and get legitimately good grades - it was great. Honestly, I don't feel like expounding at paragraph length about everything, so I'm gonna resort to bullet points.

Other highlights/memories:

    * Going to FX 2007 in late January; meeting Kristen Bell, Bianca Lawson, Andy Hallett and William Katt; and buying lots of crap.
    * Spending 24 hours solid in the apartment computer lab without sleep on two separate occasions.
    * Semi-regular breakfast in the commons with the folks in college grammar.
    * Going with Katie and Josh to the political science majors senior party at Nylen's house. I should have had a mint julep. Oh well.
    * Joe trying to get me to loudly scream "fuck" to release my stress while in the computer lab and being to drained to make it work.
    * Running into Harrison and finally getting that Flying Spaghetti Monster t-shirt.
    * Losing the tassel on my mortarboard while waiting in line to graduate, making my dad buy a new one and then having the mortarboard   
      not even fit my head anyway.
    * Actually graduating.
    * Getting hit in the head by someone's flying mortarboard.
    * Going to Disney World for the first time since I was a kid with my aunt and her family.
    * Thursday nights in the fall with Crystal, Crystal, Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy and Papa John's.
    * The ridiculous prep work for having Christmas at home and then the strange feeling after it's over.

Honestly, once I graduated, day to day life became a little samey and unmemorable. I definitely feel the need to get myself back on track with pursuing grad school and focusing on my future. However, I first need to shake off my New Year depressed haze. Then get the GRE out of the way and finally get my car fixed up. I need to make baby steps, because I'm really not sure about what's gonna happen, despite being determined with what I wanna do - I'm just shakey on getting it all to happen right now. I'm hoping 2008 will be a bigger, better year for me. I need to actively live my life, not worry about how I'm going to do it. I really hope 2008 is bigger and better for everyone. Later folks,  maybe soon? My birthday is coming up on the 12th and I'm going to FX 2007 at the end of the month, so I might have stuff to talk about. Hopefully there will be more stuff too. Anyway, good luck in '08!
Current Location: at home
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: some reality show on Bravo

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